Guise, this is me. I’m going to do one of those long tumblr stories, and I know nobody will read it, but here it is anyway,
I was bullied all through primary school. I used to hide under my bed and cry, I hated my life so, so much. There was this one girl who made my life as shit as possible, and she never ever stopped for a minute. I told my teachers and they didnt care, and I told my parents and they didnt do anything.
By the time I got to high school I was an emotional wreck. I was the class nerd, due to a government classified genius rating I have. I read a 600 page book in about 45 minutes and loved every word. I didnt speak to anyone and I was so surprised when a few lovely girls actually took time to speak to me.
After that first year things got a bit better. The nice girls became my friends, I hid my nerdiness, struggled through. The bullying had stopped, or so I thought.
At the end of year nine life was finally good. Then the bullying started again, though this time not at school. This time the bullying was at home. My mother was the bully, and my father was always away and really couldnt do anything. Everyday, I got told, “You’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re useless, you’re a disappointment, you will never be good enough for me.” I turned to self harm to take away the emotional pain I felt of having nobody. I starved myself and refused to eat.
After a particularly horrible day, I raced off to the bathroom, and having no sharp objects, used my nails to rip my arms and thighs, and, being so desperate, tried to drown myself in the bath, one of three different attempts at suicide.
After a particularly horrible night, I had a complete mental breakdown at school and confessed everything to a couple of friends. One of them dragged me off to a teacher who I trusted, and I tod her about the cutting but not the suicide attempts. I owe two people heaps- The teacher who helped me and my best friend Jemma who convinced me to get help. Without them and my friend aleisha I wouldn’t be here.
Life is still by no means fixed, I’m still struggling, but I think I’ll make it through. I’m planning to be an actress in musical theatre, but first I have to fix me.
I started an advice blog, dontworryyourprettyhead.tumblr.com to help other girls and boys fix their lives too. Please please message me about anything, I promise I will help.
I know you probably won’t read this, but I feel so much better for saying it.
Love you all. Tashi x